As you may have noticed, it has been nearly a month and we have not brought you any new t-shirt designs. Well, fear not, for we have a plethora of brand new cerebrally challenging clothing newly on the shelves for you as of today. Have a look below for our new t-shirt designs which cover such diverse themes as retro television, retro politics, retro idolatry, retro philosophy and George Monbiot. We’ve caved in to popular demand and released two MalcolmTucker t-shirt designs and a Voltaire t-shirt.
We are also delighted to announce that we are now stocking five different colours of environmentally friendly 100% organic cotton polo shirts made by Okarma. We are really pleased with the feel and quality of these polos, as well as the ethical nature of their production. They are are made from 100% SKAL/Control Union Certified organic cotton pique. In addition they are certified GM Free, Oeko-Tex Certified and ethically produced using a transparent supply chain and bio-degradable packaging. They are made from 225g/sqm heavyweight pique cotton. At present we’ve only got a couple of designs available, but we are planning on bringing out many more in the near future so please let us know what designs you would like to see us make and we’ll try to do it.
Call My Bluff T-Shirt
Do-do, do-do, do, do-do-do-do…. With Robert Robertson as the referee and Frank Muir and Patrick Campbell captaining. Now to concoct a spurious definition for the word “scolecophagous”
Old Labour T-Shirt
Show your true colours with this old-school parody on the New Labour logo. Old Labour: True Labour.
Blessed Are The Cheesemakers T-Shirt
“I think it was ‘Blessed are the cheesemakers’.”
“What’s so special about the cheesemakers?”
“Well, really it’s not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.”
Big Kahuna Burger T-Shirt
Pulp Fiction. The scene: Jules and Vincent have just walked in on breakfast -
Jules: “Looks like me an Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin’?”
Brett: “Hamburgers.”
Jules: “Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?”
Brett: “Ch-cheeseburgers.”
Jules: “No, no no, where’d you get ‘em? McDonalds? Wendy’s? Jack in the Box? Where?”
Brett: “Big Kahuna Burger.”
Jules: “Big Kahuna Burger. That’s that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain’t never had one myself. How are they?”
Brett: “They’re good.”
Jules: “Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right?”
[Picks up burger and takes a bite] “Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger.”
What Are We Fighting For? T-Shirt
In the war fought in order to establish democracy and peace, two golden arches of fire launched from twin missile silos light the sky. One asks the other: “Remind me what we’re fighting for again?”
Tucker’s Law T-Shirt
Sadly not yet available on a tea-towel, the wisdom of Malcolm Tucker: “If some c— can f— something up, that c— will pick the worst possible time to f—ing f— it up because that c—’s a c—”. Available censored or in full uncensored version.
Voltaire “Right and Wrong” Quote T-Shirt
“It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong”. François-Marie Arouet, better known as Voltaire, espouses the questioning of authority.
Plato “Politics” Quote T-Shirt
Plato encourages the masses to engage with the democratic process: “He who refuses to be involved in politics must endure being ruled by inferior people”
Gregg Wallace T-Shirt
Masterchef’s own self-styled “ingredients expert” with what can only be his catchphrase: “Yummy!”
Malcolm Tucker “Sweaty Balls” Quote T-Shirt
The best director of communications that Number 10 has never had lets rip at an obese American: “Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat f—”
Oscar Wilde “Drinking Classes” Quote T-Shirt
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes”. The great Oscar Wilde slums it with the rest of us.
Aldous Huxley “Facts” Quote T-Shirt
“Facts do no cease to exist because they are ignored” – Aldous Huxley on religion, science, politics….
George Monbiot T-Shirt
The great George Monbiot: writer, journalist, environmentalist, political activist and all-round hero of ours.
Mark Twain “Schooling” Quote T-Shirt
The value of a good school vs the value of a good education, as evidenced as far back as the 19th century by Mark Twain: “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education”.
The supposed Labour Prime Minister whose encouragement of the culture of greed and recklessness amongst financial institutions during his tenure as Chancellor got us all into this mess in the first place. Whose attitude to economic downturn has progressed from unprecedented borrowing to simply printing money. Here’s to you Gordon, you clown.
Protest And Survive T-Shirt
The peace movement’s response to the government’s “protect and survive” mantra during the Cold War. Here seen with a peace sign as used by the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament.
Justin Lee Collins T-Shirt
JLC, Bristol’s own Chewbacca wannabe, darts player, comedy genius and sometime television star.
Several Days Have Attacked Me At Once T-Shirt
Do you ever get this feeling? I try to take just one day at a time… but lately several days have attached me at once.
Nick and Margaret T-Shirt
Never mind the shouty belligerence of Surralan, these two are surely the true heroes of the Apprentice. Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford can convey more disdain at the antics of the latest batch of hapless apprentices with a raised eyebrow than Alan Sugar can in a solid half hour rant.
Buenaventura Durruti T-Shirt
Durruti was a prominent anarchist leader during the Spanish Civil War. He initially was key in preventing the military uprising in Barcelona, preventing it from falling into Nationalist hands in the battle of Ataranzaras Barracks. He went on to help found the Anti-Fascist Militia’s Committee which effectively ran Catalonia during the war, and led the Durruti Column which, amongst other things, held Madrid for the Republic in the face of the Falangists. Durruti was killed in November 1936 during the Battle of Madrid. Here he is accompanied by a quote attributed to him: “There are only two roads, victory for the working class, freedom, or victory for the fascists which means tyranny. Both combatants know what’s in store for the loser.”
Rosie The Riviter T-Shirt
From World War II call to arms to modern-day feminist icon. Rosie originally was used to represent the women working in American factories during the Second World War – the image here was created by J. Howard Miller as a poster for the Westinghouse War Production Coordinating Committee.
Kate Moss T-Shirt
A British fashion icon for the past twenty years: the divine Ms Moss.
Air Zaire T-Shirt
The logo of Air Zaire, which operated out of Kinshasa from 1971 until it went bankrupt in 1994 following decades of corruption and mismanagement.
Air Congo T-Shirt
Logo of the short-lived and long-defunct airline of the country formally known as Zaire, and previous to that knows ad the Congo. Air Congo operated from 1961 to 1971 before being replaced by Air Zaire.
Air Djibouti T-Shirt
The pride of the Red Sea; Air Djibouti flew out of the tiny east African country from 1971 when the previous national carrier was taken over by Air Somalia. It continued operating until the late 1990s.
Nigeria Airways T-Shirt
The logo of the former national airline of Nigeria. The company was frequently used by government ministers as a ready source of cash, easily raised by simply selling off the odd plane or two. Unsurprisingly the airline went bankrupt in 2003.
Hello, and happy “Bye Bye Bush” Week! We’re bringing you ten superb new t-shirt designs this week, on subjects as eclectic as feminism, atheism, corporate greed and corruption, 1970s rock music and Carry On films. We hope you like them all!
Stephen Fry T-Shirt
Featuring a stylised image of the face of the great Stephen John Fry composed of a quote of his describing his philosophy of his purpose in life: “I am a lover of truth, a worshipper of freedom, a celebrant at the altar of language and purity and tolerance.” Stephen Fry: author, actor, wit, genius.
Feminist Fist T-Shirt
This feminist symbol combines the hand mirror and comb of the Roman goddess Venus that is often used to represent the female sex, with the fist symbol used to symbolise defiance, revolution and solidarity.
Russell’s Teapot T-Shirt
We’re not sure if we really believe in Russell’s Teapot, but then we’re not sure we believe in God either. And, let’s face it, both are equally plausible.
Kenneth Williams T-Shirt
Oh, matron! The beloved star of countless Carry On films and camp cult British icon, Kenneth Williams is shown here accompanied by the Carry On Cleo quote voted the greatest one liner in cinema history: “Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!”
Dorothy Parker T-Shirt
Purveyor of one of the most caustic wits in living memory, Dorothy Parker was a writer, poet and broadcaster. Blacklisted as a communist, honoured for her civil rights work, this t-shirt design features her riposte to her editor when he contacted her on honeymoon about some unfinished work.
Enjoy Prog-Rock T-Shirt
From Pink Floyd to Yes, via ELO, Rush and Jethro Tull. Grow your hair, wear a kaftan and enjoy Prog Rock.
Enron T-Shirt
The potent symbol of the nadir of the corporate moral vacuum. Greed is good, right? We’ve jazzed up the classic logo of the world’s premier corrupt megacorp by printing in in silver glitter. Nice.
Nine Bob Note T-Shirt
As bent as a nine-bob note. Or, in this case, a nine pound note. Life-sized and based on traditional Bank of England currency before they shrunk it to half the size.
Milk Has Gotta Lotta Bottle T-Shirt
An advertising slogan no doubt familiar to anyone who was a child in the early 80s. Nice cold, ice cold milk.
Beware of the Black Hole T-Shirt
We’re not exactly sure what this t-shirt is trying to tell us, other than steer clear of unimaginably powerful gravitational fields that have crossed the event horizon of general relativity. Yes, indeed, be careful.
